Obsessed

Even though it seemed during discussions that people were dancing around the actual answer, I think it's fairly obvious that the media is where we get our ideas and standards of what is beautiful and what is not. I think that the media and advertisers target human nature, and the desire everyone, especially women, has to look better.

I can understand that this affects teens and younger women more than others. For me personally, I find myself at 24 not caring about what the media tells me is pretty, but caring about how I find myself pretty. I wear makeup, I get up early to shower and do my hair in the morning, but I do it for myself because that's how I feel best, not to look like someone in an ad...because that's just not going to happen. I've realized this but I know that others may not realize this yet. The media shows us this unattainable standard and I think there are many women and girls who are unable to separate this from real life.

The fashion industry, I'm afraid, will never change. Designers are always going to want skinny models, and will always make their clothes in tiny sizes. Why? I have no idea, but I just don't see this standard ever changing, regardless of how skeletal models are looking these days. I have a friend who is a fashion designer, and I remember reading a Facebook update someone in his entourage had posted. I'm not easily offended but this one kind of struck me as "not okay." The post said something along the lines of "Models shouldn't be allowed food. They should be given a pack of Marlboro Lights and a diet coke." This just struck me as completely objectifying models as nothing more than mannequins, not people.

During the summer, I did a little (very little) modeling for another designer friend of mine and at that time in my life, I somehow became obsessed with working out and would beat myself up mentally for eating something I saw as "wrong." I've been an off and on vegetarian/vegan for years so eating healthy has always been a part of my life but during the summer, I took it completely overboard. I found myself working out twice a day, doing nothing but cardio and eating a strict diet. I've never been overweight, I'm just built as a small person, and I'm not entirely sure what I was thinking in that I needed to lose weight. I guess I just wanted to keep modeling, so I thought I needed to be as small as small can be. I'm not proud of this time in my life, but thankfully, after a beach vacation with my family, my mother lovingly told me I looked anorexic and that was just the slap in the face I needed to start seeing the real me as beautiful again.

It breaks my heart to see young girls beat themselves up over their appearance but I think that as long as they grow up with a family who reinforces that they are beautiful just the way they are, and through growing up in general, they will eventually realize that the images in magazines and television are as real as the Tooth Fairy.